Pitlochry: The Scottish Highlands

Early the next morning, Amit and I headed out for the Scottish Highlands. Pitlochry is the shortest train ride away from Edinburgh that can still be called the Highlands. If you're staying in Glasgow, Loch Ness is doable for a day trip. Now, I always thought that the fabled sea snake was the Lochness Monster, and that Lochness was just her intimidating name. Like the Cookie Monster. Actually, though, it's Loch Ness, and there are Loughs all over England, Scotland, and Ireland. A loch is actually a "lake." How many people already knew this, and why are you keeping it from us? Going to Loch Ness would have been really cool, just to be able to say we'd been.



However, we had to weigh what would have been a 6 hour round trip with the benefits of a 4 or 5 hour hike. The train ride to Pitlochry ran along beautiful woodlands, and the entire time I was feeling wierded out (WAY more than the situation merited) that phonetically, Pitlochry should be spelled Pitt Lochrie.


Neurosis aside, we got there mid-morning and set off looking for a hike. The train station had a bathroom attendant. I usually find that when you're a young person traveling with relatively few restrictions, and you head into a small town, it's best to follow the advice of random locals. Ask a few to make sure the info is good. I started with the bathroom attendant:

"Where can I go hiking around here?"

"What? No, you don't want to do that!" I could see a hint of fear in his eyes.

"Why not?"

"A nice girl like you could get hurt. Don't do it."

"Umm, but I really want to go hiking. I have a friend with me."

"No. It's very dangerous."

(The lightbulb over my head flickers) "We just want to take a walk in those hills over there."

"Oh! You want to go HILLwalking! Yes, yes. There's a tourist information centre down the road."

Of course, it's always better if you don't accidentally ask the locals where a good place for hitchhiking is.


The tourist info centers in Britain/N. Ireland are exceptionally good. Whenever you stop into a hub town, it's a good idea to visit them, even if you already have a guide book. Always try to talk to the older person working there and not the (usually) clueless teenager working a summer job. If your destination is not well-traveled, it's good to ask them if they've been on the hikes or to the places they're suggesting. If you don't have a car, also ask whether or not they know anyone who has used public transportation to get there and back in one day.

The Pitlochry tourist centre was, as usual, a great resource. It produced its own detailed pamphlet on walks in Pitlochry. We chose the Craigower trail, which takes you up into the hills to look at the surrounding Lochs and Glencoe. The trail goes along the Old North Road, which was "the main means of communication between North and South in this central area of Scotland. Mary Queen of Scots and General Hugh Mackay the commander of the government troops who were routed by the Jacobites at the Battle of Killiecrankie in 1689 passed along this route." (cite)


We ate our Nutella sandwiches in a city garden--why don't we have more of these little gardens in the US?-- and then set off. On second thought, why don't we have more Nutella sandwiches in the US? On day trips, bringing your own lunch is a must, because restaurant food is very expensive in the UK/Northern Ireland. In America, we eat out. In the UK, they eat in and drink out. Recent economic surveys conducted by Jessa Analysts, Inc. estimate that 50% of the GDP in Derry comes from people saving what they would spend on a restaurant meal and dropping it in the pubs and night clubs. But enough about dining. Look at this country park in the middle of the Scottish Highlands.


The way up.




At the summit.



Back down to Pitlochry again.



I accomplished some of my Scottish food goals that day: steak and ale pie and Irn Bru. Other Scottish food goals accomplished during the trip: Scotch broth, squash (weird concentrated fruit juice), toffee, Belhaven's Best, and Wheetabix. Yet to be determined: fried Mars Bars, true scotch, haggis. A note on squash: you must dilute it with 4 parts water before drinking it. Don't ask me how I know this; ask my pancreas.


Steak and ale pie:


Irn Bru, an orange soda so acidic that it will strip rust off nails.


It was actually a little bit of a hassle to get them to sub a soda for the pint. I don't think customers usually turn down beer. The poor bartender, his eyes had a little red text scroll that read: "ALERT! COMMAND DOES NOT COMPUTE. ALERT! COMMAND DOES NOT COMPUTE."


The end.